Assisting the public as a surrogate
Many people's all-too-natural desire is to start a family and become parents.
Every woman, anywhere in the world, dreams of cradling a baby to her bosom, to take in its smell and to rejoice at that wondrous call of "mom".
However, and very unfortunately, there are many different circumstances due to which many women cannot conceive, whether because they were born without a uterus, they were afflicted with an illness affecting fertility or because they waited until their biological clocks chimed for the last time and when they wanted to have a child, it was already too late. Each and every case is tragic and personal in its own right.
The recognition you may no longer conceive is especially loaded and painful and in the past, the only solution in such cases was either adoption or giving up the dream of motherhood altogether.
Today we know that science provides us with an additional avenue for realizing that dream – a surrogacy process – which is becoming more and more widespread.
?What is surrogacy
Surrogacy is a real possibility for women to assist other women become mothers and of helping a couple become parents. Many women view participation in this process as an act of grace (chesed, in Judaism).
Surrogacy is defined as carrying a fetus to term by the surrogate and delivering it to its intended parents after the birth.
?Why becomes a surrogate
Many couples wish to have children but are prevented from doing so for whatever reason, usually medically. The desire to become parents is ingrained and powerful in all of us as humans and you can be the one to give a couple the greatest gift they will ever receive – a child.
A woman choosing to become a surrogate has the power to give another woman the greatest gift on earth. It's in her power to turn a couple into a family and to ensure they experience happiness, satisfaction and security in their old age, as well as continuation of their family line.
The personal reward
The personal reward may be outlined through a real case I handled (only one of many): Ayelet and Ohad (both pseudonyms) are a religious couple who were married in their early twenties and had the desire to become parents and start a large family. For years they tried conceiving, unsuccessfully. They ran around from doctor to doctor, tried every possible route and their life vacillated between hope and despair. After many years of failed and frustrating attempts and consultations with fertility doctors, as well as responsa and receiving their rabbi's blessings, they decided to go the surrogacy route.
The decision to try the surrogacy process was difficult and mentally complex, but they realized it's their one and only chance to embrace a child who's truly theirs. After going through all of the committees and receiving approval, they met Ilana, who carried their baby to term for nine months.
Ilana, a Haredi divorcee and mother of three, decided she wished to help other realize their dreams of starting a family. "The feeling of satisfaction is immense," she told me at the conclusion of the process. "Throughout the process I kept in touch with Ayelet and Ohad. They cared for me and respected me and I never felt like a 'womb for hire'. When the child emerged into the world, we were all extremely moved. The intended mother and I cried and embraced. I have carried out a great act of grace".
Roni and Avner (pseudonyms) met in high school, were in a youth movement together and survived the army and post-discharge trip together, the perfect couple… they shared a great love and Avner had little doubt that Roni will be his wife and the mother of his children. Roni, however, had doubts – when she was 15 and had yet to receive her first period, she went with her mother for a medical examination and discovered she was born without a uterus, a medical condition termed Mayer-Rokitansky syndrome. While she has eggs that may be fertilized, she doesn't have the uterus to grow the resultant baby.
This is only one example of many in our care, of women from many different walk of life and marital statuses deciding to carry out this act of grace and become surrogates.
The monetary compensation
Despite personal satisfaction, there's also a monetary reward in place with the intended parents paying a surrogate the basic sum of NIS 160,000. In addition, the parents are obligated to cover all expenses related to required medical procedures as part of the pregnancy, as well as any and all accompanying expenses.
In addition, the surrogate is entitled to a birthing grant and maternity benefits from the National Insurance Institute just like any other woman giving birth (these payments are made by the state to both the surrogate and the mother to be).
The decision to try the surrogacy process was difficult and mentally complex, but they realized it's their one and only chance to embrace a child who's truly theirs. After going through all of the committees and receiving approval, they met Ilana, who carried their baby to term for nine months.
Ilana, a Haredi divorcee and mother of three, decided she wished to help other realize their dreams of starting a family. "The feeling of satisfaction is immense," she told me at the conclusion of the process. "Throughout the process I kept in touch with Ayelet and Ohad. They cared for me and respected me and I never felt like a 'womb for hire'. When the child emerged into the world, we were all extremely moved. The intended mother and I cried and embraced. I have carried out a great act of grace".
Roni and Avner (pseudonyms) met in high school, were in a youth movement together and survived the army and post-discharge trip together, the perfect couple… they shared a great love and Avner had little doubt that Roni will be his wife and the mother of his children. Roni, however, had doubts – when she was 15 and had yet to receive her first period, she went with her mother for a medical examination and discovered she was born without a uterus, a medical condition termed Mayer-Rokitansky syndrome. While she has eggs that may be fertilized, she doesn't have the uterus to grow the resultant baby.
This is only one example of many in our care, of women from many different walk of life and marital statuses deciding to carry out this act of grace and become surrogates.
?Who can and may serve as a surrogate
Women wishing to bring some good into the world and assist parents to be in realizing their dream through surrogacy are required to meet several criteria set in law and the Ministry of Health's approval committee.
Following are some of these criteria: they're required to be between the ages of 22 and 38, healthy, with a sound history of pregnancy and birth, to have had a minimum of one birth and a maximum of three, to be a year after their last birth or 18 months from a cesarean and with no criminal record.
?How does it work
The process is legally recognized in Israel for straight couples and is supervised throughout by the Ministry of Health. The process is complex and sensitive beyond the physical and emotional aspects, as it involves quandaries and agencies from juristic, medicine and social work circles. To carry out the process, a binding legal agreement between the involved parties is required and, therefore assistance and close accompaniment from a legal firm with experience in the field is a must.
?Who are we
Mor & Co. Law Firm is a boutique law firm specializing in accompanying couples wishing to hold surrogacy processes in Israel or abroad. Adv. Igal Mor and Adv. Liat Kreskas accompany and help steer each one of our clients according to their needs and help them find the right, appropriate way to achieve their goal.
